a new born blog lamb

last night was a chalamity of physics and restitution.
at a place i didnt need to be, in gregarious fuelled company and triubutes.
i sat outside on an abandoned double car seat and shared my cigarette and sin with whoever was afraid of leaving me/being alone.

i sat on a curb for a bit with my cancer and my plastic cup of poison and watched busy stars over quiet powerlines. watched wind blow cloudy smoke in directions other then that directed by my lips. thought of a little ghost sitting beside me, same bent frame and drawn up knees, same cigarette, same cold wind blowing on her forarms as it blew on mine.

it was so cold, cold enough for hoods and scarfs and bandanas. i wore the latter to cover the fake bloddy handprint on my neck from the party the night before. standing in a friends snow capped bathroom drip drip dripping fake bloody gore on his towls and toilet seats, wearing skeleton suits and cure shirts. shitty banality in the form of those whom lack personality but make up for it with black, sitting in the loungeroom trying to figure out how to make their bottle of absinthe work.

but i digress.

a train trip to the scariest stop in brisbane, pretending to be on the phone whenever a car drives past just in case its someone come to kill me. i stood for 10 minutes crushing a fragment of a green glas bottle under my shoe, grinding it on static concrete until the car arrives.

i swore last night to forever be a fawn, a doe, a bear cub, a lamb.

forever ever ever ever


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timeline:

zacs party
carlos party
sitting on curb
sitting on car seat
walking to a trainstation
catching train to hemmant
getting lift home